Complicated and Sexy. Truthful and Saucy. Deep and Drowning.
There’s no teasing snake here like a fake dating-site profile, hunting unsuspecting nubile flesh. At first look, a demonic reptile’s screaming ominously about what yer about to consume. There’s something fallen, unrepentant, forbidding, and zealous to this Snake and his Brew.
Talking serpents, though, are about as common as unicorns so let’s focus on something tangible and, as the Germans say, “tastelich”. Despite being black as midnight, nothing hides within this beer. In fact, there’s probably an inky demon shitting bloody murder amongst the barley, malts and water so angrily churning in yer glass.
The lights around you get dimmer and the noises surrounding you fade as you plunge yer drinking hole around a goblet of this stout. Bottles may break all around you but you hear nothing. Fires may start in yer crotch but you feel unaroused. The warm swath of a stout blanket has enveloped you like yer on mushrooms. And freaking out won’t save you because for the next six hours you’ll watch the sky and the stars zoom and zip in a manner no sane person should be forced to see.
Sliding in and out of consciousness simulates the ethereal astonishment you inevitably encounter when yer glass is, yet again, unpleasantly empty. Order another. Yessssssssss. Go ahead, take the liquid drug. Plunge again into the murky, delicious abyss.
-Pedro Wooly
- 2 years ago
