Oskar Blues Gubna Imperial IPA
There are eyes on the walls and speculation abounds that you won’t fulfill yer contractual obligations. Namely, the clause stipulating a post game shower in the sweet juices of Gubna.
“Don’t take offense rookie. All the big shots go through this routine.”
But yer a little more keen than a bloated, unkempt agent with hairy palms. This is the beer you were born to enjoy. Shower, hot tub, ice bath. You’ll experience this beer as an extremely tasty lather on yer epidermis—and elsewhere. Gubna cuts through black, sooty grime and heals open sores left by oven burns.
Hailed as the next all-star, you find much in common with this beverage. Give it a little man-slap on the ass when you slam the last sip of hop-resonant backwash. Curl yer lip and wink with a knowing smirk. You’ve already begun daydreaming of yer Hall of Fame speech.
“I’d like to thank my friend and mentor, O.B. Gubna…” but yer choked with emotion. Or is it just a deft swig from a can stashed in the podium? All the same.
Sadly, this magical toxin is sure to join the P.E.D. (Performance Enhancing Drink) list at the next owner’s meeting But from the back of the room, Gubna slowly and courteously tips the bill of the its cap.
A knowing gesture to you, hero.