Apparently, the recipe for a decent night’s sleep and a healthy start to your day follows this equation: 1 baguette + 1 bottle of Olde Gnarlywine. Recipes aside, welcome in the new year properly with a shiny new bottle of this sinewy, syrupy liquidity.
Nothing’s sweeter than winning a soccer match by the slimmest of margins. Especially when the strikers’ self-congratulatory groans and grunts echo into the night and against your seething eardrums. Well, I suppose you could equate this drink to the gut-wrenching happiness of that victory over those selfish bastards.
Be sure to chomp on a wholesome, seeded baguette while you imbibe. Because that blurry, warm sensation in yer tum tum is an alcohol induced rumble worthy of going magma-2-magma with the 1700 Cascadia Earthquake. Don’t try digging in to yer spleen, liver and other internal organs—yer going to feel like a lighthouse in a fog bank for a couple hours.
Settle down for a minute and contemplate what wonderful things you’ve done to yer body with this magnificent ale. You’ll be prouder than a Father on Father’s Day in the Fatherland.
-Pedro Wooly
- 02.05.10
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